Hello Ramajamn… It’s been a while. A degree, a house-move, a new car, and a break-up have kinda got in the way of any album reviews/spontaneous weekend city breaks that makes for interesting blog content. Sometimes life happens, and all you can do is roll with the tides, however bad the timing.
In times of hardship, or just shit-ness, I find myself drawn more and more towards the women in my life that make me feel better about myself, and the world that happens to be collapsing around me. I read once that you should surround yourself only with people that make you feel like ‘you’, and this is a philosophy that I have always lived by: there is no reason for negativity in this life. And finding those people? They’re out there, I promise. Your friends are shit? Get rid. Find the people that make your face hurt from smiling. Another philosophy I love: if something is shitty, change it. You are not a tree; you can move. This is a concept I adore, especially now, at a time when I’m about to graduate, and my friends are all in different places, and the path I thought my life was going to take has become but a gravel-drive of confusion. But alas; I am not a tree, and plans change, and I have a 100% success rate of this thing so far, so what the hell.
As I was saying, the people I am drawn to most in these times of confusion are the strong-af women in my life that make it all look easy when it really, really isn’t. There are a few people in the world that can walk into a room and make everything okay again. In my experience, they are all female. I don’t know if that’s some kind of nurturing complex I have, or if it’s just because I have a serious problem with the patriarchy (of course YOU’RE fine, you middle-class-white-male-thing), but I’m not ashamed to admit that my strength inspiration comes from the women in my life that are the strongest.
By now you’re thinking, who ARE these women that can make such a difference?! How can I find them?! And take them for coffee/ wine?! Well, they (the ones that I have actually met) are mine. Haha. Unlucky. Go get your own.
1) Caitlin Moran- Obviously I had to start with a ‘fictional’ woman, and the one who’s life path I am most trying to imitate. If you haven’t read ‘How To Be a Woman’, just go and do it. I don’t care how old you are, or what genitals you happen to have been born with, you NEED this philosophy, and god knows it needs you back. Within half an hour you’ll be standing on your desk chair shouting ‘I AM A FEMINIST’ and I promise you it’s a glorious feeling. Thank me later.
2) My Aunty Lynne- Lynne Rivers was probably the strongest person I have ever met and every single day of my life I wonder ‘what she would do’. She managed to squeeze so much into a life that ended too soon, and that’s something I think about often. Life can be shit, and unfair, but who are you to not make the most of it and do everything you can to better the world?! One of the last conversations I had with Lynne was while she was lying in a hospital bed, advising me on my dissertation (the woman was never at rest). She turned to me and she said ‘but you know, this is why feminism is still so, so important. Don’t you forget that.’ Every time the state of the world upsets me, and I almost give up, I remember my Aunty Lynne, and everything she taught me, and her relentless never-give-up attitude.
3) My Best Friend- Okay so this is a cheat. I actually have four female best friends, that are all equally as strong and bad-ass as each other. Don’t worry, they know who they are. So this one goes out to all the best friends, the girls you can call at 4am, who send you motivational texts in the middle of the day, or who tag you in penis-related memes while you’re in a lecture. The girls who always bring wine, who warn their prospective boyfriends about you, who wing-woman to the fucking end. The girls who might not support your situation, because you’re being a prick right now, but who support you always. These are the girls you hold onto. Except you don’t have to, because they’re already next to you, hauling your drunk ass up a pole so you everyone can see you dance to R Kelly.
4) My Mother- Classic ‘female inspiration blog post’ time. I’ve written about my mum before, so if you’ve read my ‘Why Girls Should Try Travelling Alone’ post you’d have been expecting an appearance from Nicki. My mum is undoubtably the most inspirational woman I have ever met, and my respect for her grows every day. Never before have I met a woman that can bridge the gap between unconditional support and best friend so seamlessly, while making a Pad Thai and pouring you a glass of wine at the same time (yeah, really). When I think of mum, I think of her sat in the garden, with a glass of wine in hand, her face towards the sun. It’s November. She’s got a tan. Her undying energy towards life, despite the crap it throws her way (and believe me when I say there really has been a lot, LOT, of crap) is my inspiration every morning. I’m often told people are scared of me, but in a good way… well, I got it from my mumma. And I’m not at all scared to turn into her. In fact, I’m trying my very best to do just that.
I hope that reading about my inspirational women makes you look further into your world and find yours. I would LOVE for you to share them with me, because it can only be a good thing when we raise each other up. And I’m always on the look-out for bad-ass-ness. Tag them. Now. Do it.